The attention was first on Sheranni. He lifted his head, acknowledged each person who entered respectfully into his space. His attitude was open, enquiring, interested and also matter of fact. His presence had a particular emotional resonance. People described it as Strong, Grounded, Capable, Powerful, as if he wanted to fly, someone said. When we completed our enquiry, Sheranni nonchalantly wandered off. Nothing more needed to be added.
Dragonfly remained in our circle. He took his time to settle. The feeling from him felt different, people said. Sensitive, Tender, filled with Love, and, the poetic observation that he seemed made from porcelain. He relaxed a hind hoof as we sat in circle with him, asking nothing, doing nothing, merely observing the emotions we felt.
The longer we sat with Dragonfly’s gentle presence, the more relaxed people began to feel. Frazzled nervous systems began to smooth into synchrony with the resting horse. Some people spontaneously put their heads against the ground and went to sleep. When they came back into the circle, they said they felt calm, relaxed, as if they had been away for a week’s holiday.
Meanwhile Dragonfly remained with us, sharing the experience we were attempting to translate into words. We all felt that something extraordinary had occurred and yet for the horse this was ordinary. This was just time to be present with little distraction on his mind. This was just time to be in company with people who asked nothing from him.
Over the years we have been running courses with horses, I’ve noticed that the less you ask, the more horses give. I have also noticed a shift in our groups and students who have eased away from wanting to know about horses, how they behave and go about their lives, to wanting to understand more of how it feels to be a horse. More of how it feels to be animal. The central paradox of being human is that the more we hold on to our human perceptions, conceptions, and ideas, the less we experience life itself. Many people are drawn to animals because they enable us to get a glimpse behind the veil, as it were, to peek into another world altogether.
The presence of an exquisitely sensitive horse at rest is an opportunity to witness a whole different level of reality. I know I am not alone in finding this humbling, thrilling and wonderfully compelling.
Here are some words from one of our students who came on a retreat with us last week which expresses how it feels from the inside.
Arrive at the venue. Stop and read instructions again. Clearly can’t go far but no brain needs to re read it all.OK there’s someone greeting everyone with a big beaming smile. No chickening out now.
Everyone was so warming and after quick wc stop we got to the field where everything was set up. Instant feelings of peace just seeing the open field ahead as though it was saying look here is space for you to breathe and and just be.
I sat down with the group and it felt OK. It actually felt OK. Can’t remember the last time I had sat with a group of adults but the environment is so lush and peaceful. But hang on I don’t know these people so instantly my body is trying to put on a coat of armour around me as soon as I’m asked what brought me here today. Its a simple question, a simple question…
Time to go meet the horses. OK legs that means you have to move, ah they feel like they’ve been disconnected from my body. Heart racing. After people spending some time each with the horses we all sat down and the horses could choose to stay or go. It was so heart warming to hear people’s positive reflections of what was happening for them but then a complete feeling of panic took over. In one way it felt like the most natural feeling ever to be in a field with strangers (as nice as they were) and on the other hand my body was about to have a full blown panic attack. Telling myself this was not the time or place was not working.
At that moment Dragonfly slowly made his way over and just stopped close by. Not so close that made me run ( I wouldn’t get far with these dodgy legs) but close enough. At that moment something ‘huge’ happened and he looked right at me with complete stillness. His look will always stay with me forever. It was as though his beautiful eyes were shooting out calming beams like a laser gun aiming at me and saying simply ‘you’ve got this’. I looked away and looked back and he was still looking helping me to zone in on myself. At this moment it was like the rest of the world had just been swallowed up. Then the feelings kicked in of just feeling Dragonfly’s presence nearby. It felt like he was slowly unpicking the first layers of trauma, loss and stress and trying to and trying to help me take the ‘coat of armour’ off. As this happened feelings of pure emotion were taking over and I felt like I was just going to burst into tears. Something I haven’t been able to do in a very long time. I stopped the body doing this but some layers had definately been ‘peeled’ off.
Completely speechless and a bit overwhelmed I was unable to share with the rest of the group but with time to process I have realised for me this day has been a massive step in helping me to begin to process, connect and reflect. For the first time in weeks I left feeling calmer and that I could breathe. The burdens were still there but felt that little bit more manageable and in one word ‘hope’.
A day I will never forget
Horsemanship for Health 